Here are a few facts for you...
When you're eating Macdonalds Dr.Ivan will be having a steak.
When you're drinking Ribena I'll be drinking Makers Mark straight.
You're smoking Mayfair, I'll be having hashish.
You got a stain on your shirt, I'm wearing a designer trench.
When you're in Butlins having a wank, I'll be in Amsterdam drinking
coffee with my crew.
You buy a medium pizza from Dominos, I get a king size.
You probably use a bottle opener, I use my teeth.
You pay for your Yorkie bar, I pick it up, and walk out with it.
During sex once you use one condom you're done, I put a fresh one
on and go again...